Even if you are now in your thirties and look like a cross between a mother and a father, it doesnt mean that you are ready to settle your score. You should do all possible to ensure that your children are happy and well-socialized before and during the divorce. The moment you decide to get a divorce, you should do all possible to ensure that your children are safe. You shouldnt leave them in the power of their parents. You should be responsible for them and for their upbringing, so that they can feel the support and love of both parents. If you are ready, you can learn more about the things you should do to feel whole and happy in the end.
Motherhood and Divorce
Many married people feel like they have to be always at the head of the family. When in fact, they dont, because they are busy with raising a child or doing other household chores. Meanwhile, the kid has to grow up without your influence. Thus, you have to exert more and more influence over them until they become your children. And if you manage to do that, you will be able to finally get over the tragedy of the situation and get behind the things properly.
Know What Your Children Want
When you are divorced and have children, you have to be able to communicate with them in order to keep them safe. The first thing you should do is get rid of the stigma attached to child-related issues. Letting a child see another parent face to face is hard, and your aim is to let them feel safe no matter what. Learn more about what your children want and put in all possible efforts to meet them.
Maintain a Familiarity with Your Ex
If you have to create a family with only one person, it would be better if you have no idea of his or her background. For you, it is better if you find a familiar person who has been living in the same place for a few months or even longer. If you have children, it is crucial to make a fresh start with your children and not bring old habits and habits from the past. For you, it is easier to give a child up to the past than confront the fact that you are no longer able to live with your ex-spouse.
Do Not Normalize the Situation
If you are moving to a new place, you surely dont know the people who you will have to deal with. Your children should have a strong sense of their past and be able to cope with it. If you are a parent, it is crucial to your professionalism as a parent. You must maintain a decent amount of calm in front of your children and never forget about your responsibility to act responsibly in front of them.
Children Need Explanations Anyways
When you are divorcing, you surely dont want your children to suffer because of your crazy ideas. You want them to understand that they need someone to talk to, to look after them and to ask your permission when they want. Therefore, youd better at least explain to your children why you are divorcing and what you want to do. You shouldnt leave them with the idea that there is someone in their lives who is always angry and controlling. If you are not able to talk about something and the feeling is too bad, discuss it in the presence of your children and only then get their opinion.
If You Have a Child With You, Its Time to Talk
If you have a child with you, this means that you have to talk. You have to decide if the child needs to hear about the family problems and if there is a way to make everything OK. Then you can start explaining to the child why you are changing everything and coming to a decision, then you have to listen. The child may not understand everything you say, but you have to give it a lot of thought, even if you dont like it. The more you listen, the easier it will become for you to accept the reality and to look at things from a different perspective.
Going Through the Dates
If everything is good with you in terms of your relationship, it will be quite difficult to think of not going to a particular date. A child may not even ask you to invite him or her to a particular event, but you have to make it clear that you will only attend the child’s birthday if he or she asks you to. So, the invitation should be a friendly one, but not too formal. It is also worth noting that the child should not ask you to celebrate his or her birthday.
To make the best out of the divorce, you have to try to plan everything in advance. Set a certain schedule for child’s activities, but not too strict. So that the child cannot ask you to celebrate his or her birthday, but you will do everything possible.
Moreover, do not forget to let the children see your ex-spouse.