Divorce is a serious event that takes a lot of time, emotions and money. Usually, divorced parents have to organize multiple trips to court, look for a lawyer and pay huge fees for divorce papers. Divorced parents also have to plan visits with their kids and do various drills. Surely, these are difficult things and your relationship with your ex-spouse will be extremely difficult to recover from. Yet, it doesnt mean that you cannot recover from the physical and mental health problems that you suffered as a family. Your job is to provide your ex-partner with all possible support and to let him/her know that you are strong enough to go through all the difficulties.
All parents know that there is no general advice that can be taken at once and given to every divorced parent. They have to see how to organize meetings, how to file for divorce without a lawyer and how to deal with social media and misleading reports. You have to understand that your kids have suffered more than you and they deserve more sympathy and care. So, take your time to recover and let go of your bitterness. The time you spend with your kids should be just as important for recovery as during the divorce.
If you manage to cope with the process with patience and good coaching, you will be able to manage the limits of normal life. There is no need to make your kids’ lives miserable because you cannot manage your life without ruining their childhood. There is no need to remind that you are divorced. There is no need to blame yourself for separation. Parents should feel free to choose the means of recovery and it shouldnt be seen as a relapse but a positive change for the better.
Parents should understand that their kids best interest should be their prime consideration before, during and after the divorce. Understanding how to manage your life without your kids’ involvement is a key for a successful parenting. It is no wonder that students who divorce have a lower graduation rate and have lower grades than those who do not have problems with alcohol or drugs. While it is normal to feel anger, disappointment, and resentment when parents set rules in front of your kids, it is a normal state to heal yourself.
Parents should show love and support to each other no matter what. Seeing their kids needs above all. There is no need to expose kids to extra stress or be in constant tension with your ex. You should communicate with each other and your kids should follow your example.
Do It Together
Putting parents together makes children feel cared about by both of the parties. It also helps them to organize and plan their futures with both parents present. It is no wonder that children who grow up online are more attentive, accepting and sociable than those who live with their mothers. When parents share custody, there is less fighting and arguing. There is also less chance of a child being separated from both parents.
Of course, it doesnt mean that co-parenting is a panacea for every problem. Parents should understand that their kids best interest should be taken first and all else should be secondary. Still, there is no reason to look for excuses since your kids have already been through enough suffering. Parents should always put their best efforts and efforts in joint children’s life.
When parents are divorced and have no kids in common, they still have to plan their co-parenting plans. There are many shared duties and rights that should be performed by each spouse. If spouses cannot agree on a particular matter, it may lead to multiple hearings and delays in the approval of divorce by the court. In general, if there is a disagreement between former spouses, it may take a long time until the divorce is finalized. Due to this, it is much easier to guarantee equal participation of former spouses in joint children’s life.
Parents should clearly distinguish their interests and desires and negotiate in good faith. If partners cannot agree on a particular issue, they should explain this to the court and the judge will see it in no time. Regarding the divorce process, former spouses should also cooperate to make it as fast as possible. For this, contact your divorce attorney or a family support worker.
Cooperation with Current Affairs
Although parents may share some interests and enjoy watching their kids, they must also cooperate to ensure that the joint kids’ interests are protected. Thus, parents should not expose their kids to unnecessary stress and let them feel the pressure from above. If parents cannot agree on something, they should explain to the court why they are not able to agree on the way to joint kids’ interests. Currently, there is no law allowing spouses to skip this stage in court.
Order of Visitation
As soon as ex-partners decide to end their marriage, they must make sure that the order of visitation is carried out properly. Usually, it takes at least 30 days for the judge to finalize the decision and give the decree.