Have you heard that the divorce rate has been increasing steadily for years? Well, then you should not miss that a decade ago, when the divorce was at its peak. Well, if you are still in the process of divorce, you should not miss the chance to benefit from the latest upsurge in the values of the family. The biggest reason for that is the fact that people nowadays do not have a lot of positive feelings towards one another. There is no need to remind that divorce is always available to all, regardless of the reason. Therefore, a spike in the divorce rates can be understood as an attack on the family. Spouses are now more likely to be divorced in the modern world than they were even a decade ago. And that is a huge factor that plays a role in the instability of the family.
Do You Have a Chance to Be Happy After a Divorce?
Even if you are completely satisfied with the outcome of your marriage and feel relieved and at ease in your new life, you should not get overwhelmed with emotions. Here are some tips that will help you stay clear of depression and avoid becoming a burden on your ex-spouse.
Set the priorities properly
It is simple, isn’t it? You have to set the priorities and look for the important things. Prioritizing on the negative effects of divorce for your children and mistreating your ex-husband or wife unfairly is not the most pleasant thing in the world to contemplate. The best way to reduce the impact of divorce for your children, besides being strong enough to file for divorce themselves, is to make them suffer as much as possible. That is why you should offer your ex-spouse guardianship of your childrens life until they are 18 years old. Also, don’t forget about your mutual children. Every time a child visits a parent, the parent’s spouse automatically becomes a guardian of the child’s welfare. Therefore, the child’s welfare should be your primary concern.
Do not allow your ex to decide for you
You have heard this one at least a dozen times. It means that the decisions about the children should be left solely in your hands. No one can decide for you, you have to only think about it. However, if you are in a position where you are asking your ex to take care of your kids, think about it and decide accordingly. You have heard this advice many times and still don’t feel that it is possible.
Express your feelings
You can either suppress your feelings and never speak about them, or you can confront your emotions and they will make you do it. You can either ignore them or even physically remove them from your children’s lives. The latter option is a long and complicated one to follow. Therefore, it is better to speak up about your feelings and actions and get a professional, who will help you deal with it in a way that is both satisfactory and respectful.
Do not let your children compare your ex and you
People often compare the ex of your partner to another person, and that is not cool. What is going on between you and your spouse? You might compare your ex’s photo with the other spouse’s photo. That would not be true, would it? Would it not be better to make your ex the one to look up to and not compare it to the image of a person who was just recently in the company of another person? Wouldn’t it be better to let your children see the person they are always imagining can marry anyone but you?
Stop viewing your spouse as a person who is always angry and controlling is another person
You are no longer married to him or her. You have come to terms with the fact that you cannot control your spouse as much as you used to do. Yet, you should not let your emotions run away with you. You should keep a decent appearance on the side that will be acceptable to live with. Avoiding people who have the opposite view from you are not the best option. So, be yourself and try to blend in.
You should not hide your emotions
It is fine if you cannot hide them. That is perfectly fine. Even having a bad period in your life is an experience that you will always remember. Therefore, it is important to not let your emotions run away with you. You need to look after yourself, even during the divorce.
You need to control your social activity
It is hard not to be affected by the fact that your life has changed so much. You are no longer the person that you were. Yet, you need to remain calm and continue to move on. If you lose your appetite for life, you will be forced to hide in your shell and think about suicide. The right thing would be to let your emotions go and start eating. That will take the anger out of your situation and let you be happy again.