There is a great number of divorced parents who have to struggle with choosing between two conflicting ideas. These conflicting ideas are based on the desire to bring up their children in a way that satisfies both parents and minimizes interactions between them. Ideally, the spouses should be able to reach an understanding regarding all aspects of joint life together and it is very important to avoid fighting over minor things. If parents cannot reach an understanding regarding the joint future, then they should not argue in court. After all, the judge will not approve the statement that the spouses do not love each other anymore.
The best option for parents is to have an uncontested divorce. It means that the couple has no claims to each other and there is no need to discuss anything regarding the children during a court hearing. If you have children, and also have to pay spousal support, you should better decide on the way of raising your children jointly.
No Child Welfare During Divorce
Divorce is a physical and emotional challenge for both parents. Even if you are the one who brings up your children, you should not forget about their welfare. After all, what is more important than a happy upbringing for your children?
Therefore, prior to filling out a divorce paper form and during the whole process, make sure that you are doing your best to provide your children with a happy childhood. Do your best to send all possible invitations to all possible parties, so that the judge will hear your story and make a decision. If you decide to send the process invitation, then the judge will be informed about all possible offers and will make a decision.
Child Welfare in Transition
When parents have children, then there is a need to care about their welfare. Parents should not send each other messages regarding the kids’s upbringing, cooking, and other issues. Sending conflicting messages to a child about your divorce to him or her will only confuse the issue and cause unnecessary emotions.
Likewise, you should not send messages to your children regarding the divorce process. You should communicate with them only in the clear meaning of the word. If you want your children to understand what is going on, explain that both parents are interested in the same thing and you are satisfied with your co-parenting.
Communication during Divorce
Once you have kids in the family, it is time to think about how you can maintain your dignity as parents. You need to learn how to be on good terms with your ex-spouse and still provide your children with a good life. The issue is that most often kids have a negative view of divorce and it is very difficult to overcome that. Therefore, if your children have a view of things, then think about hiding the kids’ opinions so that they can have a happy life. Your ex-partner should understand that you are not against the idea of divorce, just as long as you have a reason for it.
Let us say, if you and your ex-spouse started communicating in a way that offended your children, then the divorce will not be a pleasant experience for them. If you cannot maintain your dignity as a parent by communicating with your children in a way that is unacceptable, then you should file a complaint. This is the minimum required by law.
- Verbal Behavior
If your children know that you two talk and laugh every time you want to, then you must report that to the court. Verbal behavior that is abusive and the like should be dealt with accordingly. You need to specify the behavior that is abusive to your children, and not make allowances for talk at the cost of your dignity.
- Incurable Anger
It is clear that being in a relationship with one of the spouses is tough on everybody. For some, it is impossible to live with anger. But it does not matter at this point if the anger is indescribable or not. The fact that it can destroy someone is something that only a psychologist or a specialist can deal with.
It is insulting to report that your spouse is not like you, or vice versa. It is also very insulting to your children, since they do not receive such an opinion themselves. The only way to fight back is to expose the fact that your spouse is reacting to something. It is not worth a parent to insult another parent.
It is a normal reaction for people to face divorce. Most probably, after going through a divorce, they feel like they are done with everything. However, this reaction is not true. After coming to terms with the divorce, the spouses need time to figure out how to live normally. During that time, the divorce needs to be as painful as possible. So, the spouse needs to be ready to new everything.