Divorce has a devastating effect on people. And even if you are one of those who decided to get a divorce, you still have to understand that this change in life has not happened overnight.
Almost half (50%) of all American children born in 1948 are now age 18 or older. Moreover, this percentage is expected to double in the next few years. What is more, in some cases, the divorce itself has caused a mental or physical disability that makes it almost impossible for the parents to live together anymore.
These facts should serve as a warning about the dangers of letting our daughters live with us. As soon as they grow up and enter the adult world, they immediately realize that family life has changed drastically. And the only way to return to normal life is to start preparing for divorce in the appropriate way.
How to Prepare for Divorce
Divorce is a real challenge to your family life. You have to go through the bad emotions, the anxiety, the disappointment, the guilt, the sense of inadequacy, and many more. Yet, you have to be prepared for all these and other challenges that you might face during or after the divorce. If you are lucky enough to have a good attorney who can help you in such a difficult period of life, you will be able to handle everything with dignity and with no harm to your children or possessions.
The first thing you should do is to learn how to prepare for divorce without harming your children. The most important thing is to let your children feel that you are their father, and not a bad person, too. The most important thing is to be reasonable and remember that your children are not your responsibility, and you take full responsibility for raising them.
It is also important to remember that you and your ex-spouse are not always living together. So, there is a chance that your children will share some possessions with you. You should decide on this question and explain to your ex-spouse exactly how you and your children will live together and what will happen when you are not around.
Do Not Let Your Children Compare Their Parent Status
Let your children understand that there is no ideal way of raising a child. Each case is unique and has its own requirements. Therefore, it is easier to leave a negative attitude and treat all those who are trying to impose their will on the children as a mother and father. The same thing goes with regard to their parents. They have to understand that both of them are caring and do everything to make the child happy.
Do Not Let Your Child Compare Their Parents
You mustn’t let your children compare their parents. No matter how great physical or mental achievements your child has, you have to remember that he needs someone who is his mother’s husband. Someone who will protect him, not humiliate or criticize him. Someone who will listen to him and give him his place in the new world. Someone like this is not possible. Moreover, it is likely that the child will not even want to talk to someone like this. Therefore, you have to make sure that you have someone who will not compare his parents, but someone who will look after him too.
Do Not Let Your Child Compare the Adulthood of Both of Your Parents
You mustn’t let your children compare your parents. Everyone knows that this is extremely dangerous for both parents. If a child sees that his parents are better off in some way, this will be an issue for him. And even if he does not say anything wrong, you will put him in the dilemma that you are right, as there is always something wrong with this behavior. Therefore, you have to make sure that the child understands that you are not going to be able to live like this, so he can think that you are doing something wrong.
Also, remember that you shouldnt try to make your children think that there is something wrong with how you are raising them. You should only say this in front of them, so they can think that there is no way to talk like this.
How to Raise a Kid After Divorce
Life after divorce is difficult to deal with. Even if you are the one who decided to get a divorce, you still have to be responsible for the child. And the biggest problem for you is going to be around. You will have to do all of the things yourself, plus be responsible for the child. It is not as hard as it seems, is it?
Start with making a plan. If you have a divorce and you want to take the kid with you, make sure that you know where your spouse is. You might be able to find him or her in a shared hobby or interest. Do not forget to tell your child about it, too. The best idea is to make the child love another parent, too. But if that is hard, talk it over with your spouse and see if there is a chance for you to live on apart.